Sign Language isn't the most effective way to be understood.

The sudden passing of my beloved father-in-law, Dr Richard A. Bell ( a long time neurologist in Colorado Springs), was a tiny blessing for our 3 year old daughter Molly. The community poured out to support our loss and funds were donated in his name to the "Molly Bell Autism Fund" which went to pay for our home based 30 hour per week ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy sessions. This ran to the tune of $40,000 a year out of pocket for a few years as no insurance would touch this "alternative" treatment. There is NO WAY we could have provided this therapy had friends and family not stepped up to support us in this way. Dick's final gift to us was a monumental one.

I have told you already about Molly's poop smearing days. I'd put her down for her afternoon nap, and no lie, peek in 2 minutes later, and she'd already have a handful of poop and would be smearing it on everything! The bed, the comforter, the walls, the chair....her hair. This was the same time that my sweet mother-in-law, who never says "No" to anything, said "I just don't think that I can take care of Molly anymore. I'm happy to help with Jack though". And how could I be upset with her setting a perfectly healthy boundary? And one that I wanted to set too "I'm D.O.N.E with this kid. Can I give her back?" Of course if Barb really wanted to help me...it was getting Molly out of my hair. Jack was the easy joy to play with. So she came up with a brilliant strategy. She would pay for someone to come stay with the kids one weekend a month so that Brooke and I could escape to her mountain house. We could rejuvenate, she was helping as we ourselves couldn't afford to pay for someone to come, and we were all winners! Especially since we had THE PERFECT couple to watch the kids.

Stacy Richardson was our lead ABA therapist. She was young, energetic, smart, kind, funny, honest, loyal and loved our kids. Making a little extra money one weekend a month was good for her too. Her husband Seth was getting his masters in theology and was equally as kind, fun and trustworthy with our kids. Stacy knew all of Molly's quirks, she incorporated Jack into many of the therapy sessions, and there was literally no one better qualified to help us out. When Brooke and I walked out the door....we had NO worries about our kids and could enjoy our time away. Stacy had it covered.

On one of these weekends, Stacy and Seth had the kids at their place, which had a great kids park next door to their apartment complex. While the kids were swinging, Stacy had to run back to their home to take care of something and was gone about 25 minutes, leaving the kids in Seth's competent hands. When she returned, Seth said "Molly has been having a blast. Look, she has mastered this "look, no hands" thing. Stacy laughed "Seth, she is signing "All Done".  Poor little girl...20 minutes of trying to tell the adult knucklehead that she wants to get down and he thinks that she's having a blast!! Makes me laugh to this day. Seth felt terrible and has used this story in a sermon along his ministry way I am sure. If you are ever in Birmingham Alabama, look up Stacy Richardson Photography to take the most beautiful wedding pictures you have ever seen and stop in to Seth's church to hear a good story about faith and God. They now have two beautiful daughters of their own who I wish that we knew personally. One of these days.....

We have had many gifts of amazing teachers and therapists who have helped us with Molly. Stacy was one of the precious ones that will live in my heart forever. She celebrated the little victories. She saw through the non engaging 3 year old,
to the sweet girl that we loved. She taught us how to be firm and set limits and how to not let Molly's negative behaviors dictate how we lived. When our daughter had her constantly migrating OCD issues, Stacy would gently remind us to stick it out. In the end, it would make a difference if the OCD didn't control Molly. For example: Molly would walk over a threshold into the room, then back 2 steps out, then walk in, then back out, and then finally walk into the room. We would nip this behavior and not let her back out once she walked in....and she would tantrum. Of course. Quickly that OCD path was nipped but then she would begin another. It was a constantly revolving door of issues. Into her teens, the issues have mostly abated. Recently, however, I have noticed that every morning she gets up and has a little path around the house that she takes care of. She will check and see if the trash needs to be taken out. Do I get upset when it's only half full and there is still room for more? Sometimes. I'm trying to be green. :) Then she will put the new garbage bag in it's place. She will scan the room to see if anything needs to go to the recycle bin (hide the bills), she will push closed a drawer that is barely open, she will fill the dog food (she does this ALL day however and hasn't understood that he only needs to eat once), adds a little water to the water bowl, clicks the "water" button on the refrigerator to "ice" (Jack will click it back to mess with her), and then she will head back to her room to get ready for school. It's all very helpful now...so do I nip that routine? Stacy would say "Yes". See Stacy...I STILL hear you in my head all these years later!

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Stacy and Seth (Molly in therapy session top left. On Seth's shoulders top right.)
(Random little boy with his therapist mother whose name I have forgotten: bottom left)

On a side note....Molly and I are heading to Florida tomorrow to visit my youngest brother Jay and his family before they move to Australia. We will get to spend a day at Disney World! Molly STILL loves Mickey and Minnie Mouse and whenever she pulls up a video on her iPad...it's those two. So  though I'd rather go to Universal or one of the other parks, Molly will want to go to Disney World. So that's where we get to go! I won't vent here about how angry I am that the special needs pass has been removed since a few elite be-otches abused the pass and now the families that really need them can't have them. That's a future post for sure. Molly can now wait in line and I'm looking forward to a glorious day of fun with her. I'll take lots of pictures!!