Dear Disney World: Special Needs families need you!

Our first foray to Disney World in Orlando was when the kids were little. Molly was 7 and Jack was 5. We had flown to Florida for my brother Jay and his now wife Kristen's wedding and as soon as they headed off on their honeymoon, we headed to Disney. We were nervous about the day as Molly was an edgy kid. Waiting was waaaaayy down the list as a skill.  If waiting for 30 seconds (or less) can be considered a skill. She wasn't a runner but she also was oblivious to where we were and never tried to keep us in sight; so we had fears of losing her in the crowd of tourists. Jack, like most typical kids, could understand what we said, would listen to us, and we knew that if he got lost, he could at least talk to someone. Molly was hit or miss. Happy one second, tantruming and scratching her arms raw when edgy and out of sorts. We were always walking on egg shells as we never knew what would set her off. Except for waiting....that ALWAYS set her off. Patience and staying in one place without movement was a guaranteed tantrum; unless there was a cartoon or singing video on. Or driving in a car. She ways always happy strapped into a moving car. That's why we tried this ride.

First time to Disney at 7 years old.

So we were legitimately concerned about a day at Disney. We had heard the rumors of hour plus waits in line for a ride. We had also heard about the Fast Pass option where one parent runs ahead and checks into a ride with a return time for the family to come back. It all sounded like just one more thing to worry about and a schedule that we weren't sure that we could keep. It didn't sound easy or even fun. And then, through the amazing parent grapevine of helpful information, we were told about the Special Needs pass. This allowed a family of a special needs child the ability to automatically move to the front of a line. It was done very discreetly so that we weren't obviously cutting anyone off that had been patiently waiting for hours. We would go in a separate entrance and would funnel in in a way that wasn't obvious. It was perfect. We could move quickly from one ride to the next, stop for bathroom breaks and eating, and keep on moving.

It was THE BEST DAY that our little family had EVER had together. Truly. For 7 years Brooke and I had been living in hell with a child that was difficult and parenting wasn't very fun. Jack had brought a beautiful balance and had shown us the joys of parenting, but we had not had any fun, non stress days together as a family . Fun was had in tag team mode. Whomever had Molly...wasn't having fun in a public venue (in general). Whomever had Jack, was. So this pass allowed us to enjoy a day of adventures that we never could have had otherwise. Which makes me SO sad for today's families at Disney World as that special pass has been taken away.

Here are some of the lame excuses that people use to get the pass. And these are NO lie real.

"My son suffers from childhood obesity". Then today will be the perfect opportunity for a little exercise to work those lbs off!
"My child is gluten intolerant and needs the free pass." What? I'm not even sure how they think that is a reason for a special pass? Bring your own food in then people!
"My child is dyslexic.".       ??????

It makes me think that people have heard that there is a pass for ANY kind of issue...not a legitimate one. And is it human nature to milk the best deal that we can find? Have we stooped to such a low level? I want to throw up reading about the NYC elite moms who hired people with disabilities to go around the park with them so that they qualified for the pass. Bet they didn't hire kids with autism as that would have been a little too stressful in their perfect little worlds.

Fast forward 10 years to this week when Molly and I returned to Disney World. We had signed up the night before for the Fast Pass and had added the "My Disney Experience" app for my phone. When we arrived at the park, we checked in with customer service to see if there was any special needs pass to be had. This was it. And it wasn't the good one of years past.

Disability pass with her picture; good for one ride at a time.

Fast Passes that you scan upon arrival at a ride. Can only use for 3 events.

The Disability access pass simply allows you to check into the ride that you want and they write down the time for you to return. It's the same amount of time that you would be waiting in line if you were to do that. When I spoke with the customer service person, I told them that that really doesn't help a family whose child has troubles with waiting as we would still be waiting. He said "But now you can go get food or hang out in the shade but not have to wait in the actual line". He's right....that IS better than the line nightmare but the issue remains the same: waiting is hard and the family is now not having fun. Isn't the point of Disney to have fun? One precious day of fun?

I am not a person that wants something for nothing. I don't believe that you get anything for free in this world without working hard for it. Without earning it. Getting free Medicaid healthcare for my daughter makes me feel uncomfortable when I check out of our dentist appointment and owe nothing. We tried to get Molly on our policy but the insurance company wouldn't add her due to her disability. I'm sure that will now change with Obamacare, we just haven't done the research yet to add her to our policy. So my point here is not just for our family and for our Molly. It's more for those young families who are desperate for one day of reprieve similar to the one that we got to experience 10 years ago. I will never forget how happy we were. It was such a unique gift that Disney gave us and it breaks my heart that others can't have that. We are not asking for a handout that isn't deserved. We are asking for an accommodation for our child that REALLY needs that support. Your obese child is rational. Your dyslexic child understands you and doesn't fly off the handle from the sensory overload in a new environment. Your gluten intolerant child can be distracted by conversations and games in line to pass the time. I'm not saying that those issues aren't significant in their own right, they just aren't relevant to this scenario of qualifying for a special pass.

So Molly and I navigated the park with our Fast Pass to Space Mountain as she is a roller coaster thrill seeker, unlike her mother. Then we went and met with Mickey Mouse; still her favorite cartoon and one she watches with a huge smile on her face. We waited in a small room with a few other families. Then they escort you to another small room and there we could see Mickey greeting other kids. It was hearing his voice that sparked her interest as she scanned the room to see where it was coming from. As soon as she saw him, her face lit up! Then we were next. He came walking over to her and she panicked. Instead of giving him a hug or smiling at him, she turned sideways to him and looked a little freaked out. He was her height and that face to face engagement is not her forte. I'll post the video so you can see their picture and her saying "Cheese" and then she high tailed it out of there. Maybe watching Mickey and Minnie on the TV is more fun? :) We got to use her pass to ride Splash Mountain which is a great way to cool off. We also used it to watch the Mickey PhilharMagic movie which is a 3D movie that blows your hair when the wind blows and sprays you with a mist of water when it's raining in the film. Very engaging and fun which was perfect for my daughter.

17 years old and STILL loves Disney World.

Post Splash Mountain

I enjoyed the day with my daughter. It wasn't the fun that we had the first time as there were some edgy moments as we waited. At 17, those issues aren't completely gone. And we were missing her dad and brother to make it the full family experience. And I empathize with Disney's predicament. How DO you give passes to the families that really need them when so many are abusing the system? I don't have the answers but sure hope that something can be worked out for other families like us that need one day of joy in our chaotic life of autism.