And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The realization came to me in the most unexpected way.
It came to me as I was joyfully spending the day with a young lady with Down syndrome.
Let me set the scene for you. We were at the pool. Molly was happily "swimming". She mostly stays in one spot in the middle of the pool standing, holding her pink donut raft, dunking her hair every now and again while keeping a very watchful eye on me wherever I am. Kory and I were walking together beside the pool. A mom looked at me and gave me a very sweet, knowing smile. I smiled back.
We passed another mom sitting in a lounge chair sunning herself. She gave me that EXACT same smile and knowing look!! Words didn't need to be said...she understood that Kory had Down's. In the blink of an eye this mom could picture the myriad of challenges that might have occurred in Kory's 18 years of life. Heart issues? Speech? Teasing? Friendship issues? Etc..etc, etc. This mom was giving me a fist bump of sorts; understanding and encouragement all with a simple facial expression.
Kory and I sat down in our lounge chairs and proceeded to have THE BEST conversations!! She shared things about her life with me and asked me questions about my life. She was super engaging, funny and such a joy to be around. She has come SO far since we met her in pre-k years ago when she and Jack started school together. Being with a person that can actually talk to me (unlike my daughter) is such a thrill that I can't even put into words.
Kory gets to go to LA soon to take an acting class. I told her that when she is rich and famous that I wanted to be her chauffeur and massage therapist. She agreed. Then said "Molly?" (meaning what could Molly's job be?). I said "she is an excellent cleaner. She could clean the mansion." Kory said "Perfect". "Jack Bell?" she said looking at me with a smile (she always includes his last name and has adored him forever). I told her that he was hoping to go the ROTC route for college and she immediately said "Body guard". LOVE her!! I told her I hoped that it could be a water front home and she said "of course". So people, it looks like I'm set when Kory makes it big.
As we were packing up to leave, I caught eyes with another mom sitting nearby who gave that same look!! I was like WTF??!! I have NEVER gotten that look in all the years with Molly and suddenly it's everywhere!
Autism manifests in negative behaviors. Autism gets a lot of judgement on
our parenting (or perceived lack of parenting). Autism is cute kids who don't appear to have an outward disability. Autism doesn't give parents knowing supportive smiles.
And that, my friends, was a WILD realization!!
