The shower: Too bad she isn't bald

When was the last time you helped your kid take a shower? I think Jack booted me out of that responsibility in 1st grade? Earlier? To be honest, I'm not sure exactly when it was but with all the other developmental milestones, he met them and moved onto the next higher level of learning. Not so with Molly. She is 18 1/2 years old and I STILL help her. Who will take over this task when I am on my death bed? Any takers?

Here is how it goes: I turn on the water to regulate the perfect temperature. As you know, it takes a delicate touch to regulate that balance of not too much hot but not too much cold. We turn the dial slightly this way, then that way, until it's that soothingly warm AAAHHHHhhhh. Molly doesn't have that finesse. She will stand in scalding water (or freezing cold water) and not alter the temperature. I have heard her saying "Ouch" from the bathroom, when a toilet is flushed in another part of the house and she gets scalded....but does she move? No. Her body will be bright red but she makes no efforts to change the temp. Which might be good as she'd probably turn off the cold water and scald herself even further?

She will wash her entire body on her own (thank goodness) but where she falls short is in the washing of her hair. She loads up a handful of shampoo and vigorously washes the same 30 strands of hair just above her forehead.  She is thorough there by golly. But for the life of me, I can not get her to wash her ENTIRE head. "Mol, you have hair over your ears, and on the top and back of your head too". We talk about this EVERY.SINGLE.TIME we wash her hair as I scrub the rest for her. I have not intervened on numerous occasions to see what happens if I'm not involved. Maybe I am enabling too much and need to back off? She for sure has figured it out by now? But alas, afterwards, her hair is disgustingly oily...everywhere but the shiny front :) The good news is that she DOES turn the shower off all by herself when she is done so I don't have to go in and prompt her to end the routine. That's a big step from before.

I have to say that I'm relieved to hear that many other parents of kids with autism face this same hurdle. Misery loves company and I feel less inept knowing they can't get their kids to learn this simple technique either after 1 million 250 attempts (give or take a few showers).

Any success stories out there of other kids on the spectrum that finally learned how to do it I'd love to hear them? Mirrors in the shower so that they can see their whole head? I have heard that there are knobs that you can buy to regulate the water temps so I need to look into that. The more that Molly can do independently of me before I die, the better!

Next up, crossing the street safely after looking both ways.