Shaggy, Scooby and the Mystery Machine

You have heard me talk about Molly's "boyfriend" Spencer  and have seen his pictures with her for every dance that has occurred the last few years. He has autism as well but is slightly more verbal than Molly is. We love him as he has a gentle disposition and a great big smile. Our families are similar in that Spencer has a younger typical sister (like Molly has a younger typical brother) who went to college last year. He has seen her move to a dorm room and this year to an apartment off campus. He is almost 22 years old and wants the same thing as he has had "Move out Party, August 31st" written into his ipad calendar for 6 months. He downloaded a picture of the apartment complex where he wants to live, brought it to speech therapy and shared it with the group. He had their speech therapist convinced that this was really happening. He has plans for who his roommate will be (it's not Molly, don't worry). He wants to move out from under his moms roof and August 31st was the big party!

But like a lot of kids on the spectrum, he doesn't shower on his own. He doesn't cook his own meals. He doesn't drive. He doesn't pay the bills. He doesn't do his own laundry. How in the world does he think that he can live on his own?

I have been worried about this big August 31st date as it approached and wondered what would happen that day when he did not move out? Would he cry? Would he tantrum? His mom Cheryl told me that she guessed he would simply reschedule it to another date in the future. But I was worried for his soul and for his sense of independence. For his hopes and for his dreams. I wanted to acknowledge this date even if he wasn't moving.  But what he did do touched me and was such an interesting approach to the dilemma that I asked their permission to share the story with you.

On the 31st, Spencer came downstairs with Scooby Doo, Shaggy and the Mystery Machine; all toy figurines that he has cherished for most of his life. With them, he had two boxes packed with all of his DVD's and Wii games (also prized possessions). He told his mom that they were all moving. "Where to?" she asked. "The basement" he replied. And that's is where they are today, neatly parked against the wall. Cheryl asked if he himself wanted to move into the basement too but he said "No". I thought that was a good suggestion on her part as maybe that was what he was trying to convey through the Mystery Machine's adventure to the downstairs?

I love that it happened on the day that HE was supposed to move. They are obviously tied together in some way in his mind and I love the beautiful puzzle that our kids are. Molly and I went over to their house for a yummy dinner and for Cheryl and me to tell them that our hopes as moms are that they CAN live independently one day (with support of course) and that we will do the best that we can to help make that happen. You aren't moving now Spencer but maybe one day......

And THEN we can create the awesome Mom retreat where the wine flows freely for all of our hard work and successes!