Hidden Camera?

Our yellow lab Tucker was the master escape artist. We rescued him at 7 years old and he came with a few bad habits. "Marking" the house to claim it as his own was THE WORST habit. Escaping when the door or garage was a tiny bit ajar was the other. He would blow out the door and sprint up the street without a look back as we were chasing him, calling him, begging him...... And he'd be gone for hours until a nice neighbor would call or we'd finally find him sniffing around the hood.

We always talked about putting a Go Pro on him just to see what he did during his adventures (never actually happened). But wouldn't it be fun to see? His meeting other dogs, sniffing, being pet by random people on the hiking trails, running from them as they tried to grab him and figure out where he belonged, swimming in the stream, chasing a rabbit, chasing a deer, carrying a deer leg found on the trail, marking HIS territory....etc, etc.

I feel the same way when Molly hops on the bus to leave for work. I have NO idea where she will be working that day and she can't tell me when she returns (and if I test her knowing where she went, she usually answers incorrectly). I love the texts that come through late afternoon that give me a little idea of what she did. Here is one that I got this summer:

"Molly was in my group today at Christmas Unlimited. In the morning she colored in the craft room and used her talker to tell me what she wanted for lunch. We went through the Burger King drive through on the way. While volunteering we kept it low key today and she unwrapped packages of ornaments. The client sitting next to her had a seizure but Molly stayed calm and continued working until things returned to normal. While the client was resting, I sat with Molly and she said "Yes" she needed a little break as well. We ate lunch in the break room then Molly used her talker to tell me she wanted to look at magazines and when I asked her where, she quickly navigated on her talker to "library". We went to the library where she picked out 2 magazines to look at. She seems to be doing a great job with her Metro ticket and keeps it safe with her lunch money."


The other big news in her life (and the next step towards more independence that took the awesome Manitou High School transition teams' nudging of ME to try it), is her taking Metro Mobility. I'm always the last on board to trust the community at large with my naive and vulnerable daughter. I always need others to say "it's going to be okay." So instead of the Manitou Springs special ed short bus picking Molly up and taking her to school/work like they have since she was 3 years old (17 years people!), Metro Mobility now picks her up, takes her to work and brings her home.

Every town has this service I imagine? My brother David, who lives with a traumatic brain injury in Charlottesville, Va, uses the bus service Jaunt. In Colorado Springs, it's called Metro Mobility. You call the service and let them know when you need them and they give you a half hour window for when they will pick you up. It's $3.50 each direction and you can pre fill a pass with $ that is scanned when you get on the bus, or use paper coupons that have been prepaid for (we have been nervous about Molly either shredding this ticket or throwing it into the recycle bin but neither has happened...yet). If you are non verbal like Molly, the driver knows where they are taking you since that was taken care of over the phone (by me). Others who are picked up along the route are going to a similar destination. Molly is picked up at 7:30 am for her 9 am arrival at work. In the school bus days, she was picked up 1/2 hour before her arrival at work time so Metro has increased her drive time by over 2 hours each day. Luckily, she LOVES to ride in cars/busses etc.

But here's where Nervous Nelly me has a hard time with this new process. So Molly gets done with work at 2 pm. She normally gets home between 2:45-3 pm.  So I start looking out the window about 2:40. Yesterday was different. She wasn't home by 3 pm.  I'm pacing by 3:15. I finally call Metro at 3:30 just to make sure Molly and her bus driver are alive and the kind receptionist tells me that there had been an accident on the highway that stopped traffic and there is more construction on the road near us that was delaying their return home. Whew. She was still alive and had not been kidnapped. I tell ya....my mind can do outrageous things! Then her bus pulled up, she hopped off, grabbed the mail, ran inside and started doing her clean up routine and all was good in the hood. She was totally fine so it's ME that needs to relax into the unknown, trust these new strangers to do their jobs and deliver her from point A to point B, know that I can't be coddled with calls from the driver (like the old short bus days as they knew I'd worry if she was later than normal), and give Molly that independence that I know she wants to help her feel like the 20 year old young lady that she is. Yeah, I know....it sounds so easy but she has NO idea how vulnerable she is ;)

I know you are thinking, wouldn't it be cool to stick a hidden camera on Molly to see what happens if we let her walk to the neighborhood playground by herself? We HAVE talked about doing this kind of thing just to see if she'd get in a car with a total stranger (that we had prearranged mind you) if she doesn't get nailed first by a driving car since she's still not 100% trustworthy crossing a street by herself. We could do an entire hidden camera Molly series to train all kinds of people: police, paramedics, waitresses, lifeguards etc. One of our checkout people at the grocery store still says the wrong thing every time Molly is with me in his line. It's gotten to the point that I just avoid his line as he never learns. "Are you at a yoga retreat in Manitou?" (he then imitates the sound that Molly is making and I tell him that actually "No, she has autism and can't talk. That is how she talks." Another time he said "What animal are you trying to be?" Yes, people say the darnedest things!! I wanted to say "I don't know what kind of animal she is but I'm a mamma bear who is going to hurt YOU!" But I didn't. I just avoid his line now.) Wouldn't a hidden camera series be interesting? Because even more than you...I'd love to see what happens when I'm not around.

I'm baaaackkkk....at least until next spring hits!

This is apparently a pattern as I look back through the couple of years that I have posted blogs. Spring time gets a little crazy and I don't make time to write. Then summer hits and I have a little more time to update you on Molly's life. I had fleeting thoughts that my blog readers, who are not my FB friends, might be worried that something awful had happened to our family and that's why I had not updated the site since early February. But no, it's just that I couldn't muster up a story for you amidst the fun of Jack's senior year, lacrosse, After Prom decorations, running Molly around to therapies, my job, etc, etc......

So let's do a quick recap of the last 4 1/2 months through pictures and then I can go back and share a few stories in the weeks to come, sound good?

PS Even after all this time I STILL struggle with adding pictures....they are mostly in chronological order :)

Molly tuns 20 years old and makes cupcakes for her friends at work.

We have to prompt this to happen by literally putting their arms on each other.

Her birthday and the Valentine's Day Dance fall on the same night. This means a hot date with Spencer.

Special Olympics Basketball

Post basketball medal! She was more excited than she appears.

Brooke told her to "go put on a hat to go for a Jeep ride." This is what she came out of her room wearing! :)

AMAZING ABA/music therapist Kirsten's last day :( Full blog post on this therapy to come. Molly is talking more than ever!

Spent many hours creating the After Prom "Back to the 80's" decorations for Jack's high school.

Did I mention that we parents had to stay up to chaperone from midnight-3 am? Took me a week to recover as I'm a 10 pm (at the latest) bedtime girl.

The beautiful prom people!

 

Molly loved watching Jack and all of his friends having their pictures taken before prom at the Broadmoor.

Silly Brooke during a game we were playing. That story will get it's own blog post.

Jack's #1 lacrosse fan!

Captains helped take the team to the state semi finals where they lost to Valor.

Jack made 2nd team All State. These are the other Cheyenne Mountain boys that made the All State team too. John Grant, Jr. photo bombed them.

Jack's graduation with Mimi and Gdad (who drove out from Virginia) and Brooke.

Jack is in the left group...can you see him?

THIS is what our summer will look like....Molly staring at me not knowing how to entertain herself in the pool.

He did it!! Off to CU Boulder next year.

Pinch Me! Is it FINALLY resolved?!

If you have a special needs child, like me you know that nothing that is government funded works quickly or efficiently. We have been dealing with Molly's SSI (Social Security Income) for exactly a year and today we finally get to celebrate a resolution with a dinner out!! And Molly can treat.

When a child turns 18, they then can apply for SSI benefits. You have to prove significant disabilities and of course Molly qualified. You fill out the stacks of paperwork, get the school to send in it's IEP notes and get the doctor to submit their paperwork deeming your child's disability.... and then you wait. And wait. And of course one never hears anything via email or phone or even the mail. That process took 6 months and then a lump sum of $ was deposited into Molly's account (that we had created for that purpose). Of course Brooke wasn't checking that account daily...or even weekly as no one ever gave us a heads up on when it would be deposited.

What we did know was that to keep her benefits, we always had to keep her account under $2000. We charged her room and board and she'd have a little extra each month for clothes and going to the movies, etc. Not sure anyone really can live off of $730 a month....but she can since she still lives with us.

Stay with me here as this is where the entire process got messed up. August 31, 2015 SSI deposited over $4000 for the back pay that they owed Molly since she turned 18 years old 6 months prior. We were told that we had 9 months to pay that down without getting penalized. We got a letter 6 months later (last February) telling us that Molly obviously didn't need her SSI benefits as she had too much money in her account. So they froze her account and said that she owed back over $3000 (I'm not using exact #'s here so don't do the math).

We were frantic. What are they talking about? We had 9 months to get her account under $2000. We filed an appeal like they said we could in the paperwork. We wanted a face to face sit down to go over this. Two months go by and we hear nothing. So starting last May and for the next 6 months, I go to the SSI office and wait for 3-4 hours with all the other frustrated patrons with sick coughing, crying children, no WIFI and NO food allowed. Sometimes I took Molly but waiting for that long is not her forte. I'm not very good at it either. And taking her away from her work to go sit doesn't seem fair and is penalizing her even more. Every time I'd finally get to the window with an actual person to talk to, they'd look up Molly's case and say "It's still under review" and I'd leave. And go back the next month having still never heard anything via the mail.

FINALLY in September, the person behind the glass started live chatting a lady in the back about our case. She was shocked that we had never received any correspondence about our appeal (and could see that no letter had ever been sent to us). She told me that was highly unusual and that here was a phone # to deal directly with a decision maker. What?! Are you serious!! Hallelujah! I called the lady from my car and within a week she had called back. She said "You are correct. Molly should not have been docked for those two months of coverage. But the other two months ARE your fault since her $630 life insurance policy is deemed cash in her account" (Hello...thanks for telling us that now!). "Even though there was under $2000 in the account those two months....that life insurance policy took it over the amount. If you pay back that $1460 then her account can get reactivated." Brooke then called this lady daily saying that we still wanted a face to face meeting to talk about all the back pay. She NEVER returned his call.

We felt like this was all crap...that Molly had been penalized for one year of services and all for their initial negligence and lack of correspondence. But we were up against the wall with no choices since we wanted her services to resume. What if we suddenly died and she didn't have us to support her financially, we NEEDED to get this started again? So I went back in and sat for 4 hours and read the book "Finding Flow" and tried to stay positive, and smile and use my nice voice when I finally got up to the window. Lo and behold once I handed over the check the helpful man behind the glass said that Molly would be getting back pay for all of those months!! I hadn't even asked him about that yet. All I needed to do was present bank statements from the last year showing that she didn't have $ in her account (which she didn't). I left, found another day when I had a 4 hour window (which is never), took in the bank statements, handed them over so that they were stamped and I KNEW that the SSI office had them....and we waited for another 2 weeks and just found out that TODAY $ was deposited into Molly's account!!

I actually feel like crying. This was a challenge in patience, persistence, anger, frustration and finally relief. We will never let her account have more than $200 now as we don't want to deal with this slow moving incompetence again. Tonight Molly treats for our favorite noodle bowl place and (maybe) champagne!!

Awkward Moments

We have become friends through this blog, right? We can curl up on the sofa over a cup of coffee and really share our hearts, our fears and our victories. I toe the line on how much to share about Molly as she can't speak for herself or say "MOM!! You CAN'T share THAT!!" You might tell me that I'm an over-sharer and I'd have a tendency to agree with you. However, over and over again, I hear how much this blog helps others to understand autism and we are able to put a face to the challenges and hopefully folks out in the world are more compassionate to others like Molly because of my over sharing.

With that said, I'm going to take the plunge and talk about "Aunt Flo's" monthly visit. I know that every.single.mother of a daughter with special needs freaks out about this concept WAY before the event actually happens. We imagine the worst! I know that I did.

We had one horrific week of Molly smearing poop ALL over all her bedsheets, walls, chairs, and herself DAILY when I'd put her down for her afternoon nap at 3-4 years old. I need to dig up the video footage of her room as it was disgusting and I was ready to call it quits on motherhood!!

So I was picturing her period being very similar to that. One week a month for the rest of her life.....

She was in 6th grade when I got a call from her school towards the end of the day. "Molly was having a really hard time and was pitching a fit in the bathroom. When she finally came out, I asked her what was wrong and to tell me on her talker". She pushed the button "Red". Aunt Flo had arrived and Molly's intuitive teacher knew exactly what she was talking about. Molly was coming home shortly thereafter so I was prepared. I went out to greet the bus like always, and as she got off, she had a very stressed looking face. I smiled as big as I could and said "Molly, I heard the good news. You got your period and are a woman now!" (All you women out there know that was totally for show!) She looked right at me and gave me a huge, tight hug. What was SO shocking about this reaction is that she NEVER gives tight hugs. She leans in but doesn't wrap her arms unless prompted. And even if she does that, she never squeezes. My girl must have felt REALLY relieved to react that way. She wasn't dying! I wonder what she WAS thinking? I was touched by emotion to feel her grasp me that way.

You all know she's a cleaner so she rifles through a gazillion pads. Hard to explain to her that you really don't need to change them every hour but heck...that's better than NOT changing them at all, so she has done remarkably well managing her period through the years.

I keep track on a calendar so that I know her crazy, moody day could be that Flo arrives tomorrow. Or having it marked makes me buy more pads in preparation for the big day. But this post isn't really about that. This post is leading up to the story that she probably wouldn't want me to share. So don't tell her.

Here it goes....

You know that my brain is a bit foggy on years and smaller details so I think this happened the summer before 8th grade. I can't recall why we had to go to the pool that day, as typically, we just don't go those 4-5 days during her period since she doesn't know how to use a tampon. But for whatever reason, we were going to the pool during her period. So she had to wear a tampon.

The first time I used one, I waddled around all day with the cardboard applicator still inserted and could NOT understand why ladies wore these incredibly uncomfortable tampons :) Go ahead, laugh. But I bet YOU have a story too. We all do!

Due to my (uncomfortable) experience, I wanted Molly to be fully prepared. I checked out a gigantic doll from Memorial Hospital that has all the anatomically correct holes. I demonstrated on the doll where a tampon went. Molly didn't seem to be at all interested nor did she seem to understand. So I took it a step further. I invited her into the bathroom with me to demonstrate putting a tampon into myself. She's a visual learner, y'all! Can I just say that that might have been the most embarrassing moment of my life? She had the most horrified look on her face as she watched what I was doing. Almost like "MOM!! WTF are you DOING?!!" I thought "What AM I doing? This is mortifying." So we both quickly moved on and haven't talked about it since. :)

But as you know there was one last step to Molly going to the pool on the day of her period. We had to get a tampon in her! And let me tell you friends, that is not an easy task to do on someone else. The angles are funky. Do I try by standing in front of her...or from behind her? There is a little moisture finagling that has to be done. There is the autism factor where she can't communicate if this is hurting or she's just mortifed. All in all, it's just not a natural mother/daughter situation. And after a few tampon tries, we were successful!! Yippee!! Off to the pool!

She swam. I watched. We stayed for a few hours (for a birthday party? For something Jack was doing? I have no idea?)

When we got home, I said "You did awesome!! Congratulations! Come on into the bathroom and we can take out the tampon." We took off her bathing suit. She stood over the toilet. I went to grab the string to remove the tampon.......and there was NO TAMPON!

I'm sorry pool staff. Do they shut down pools for rogue floating tampons?

We didn't go back to the pool for weeks ;)

The newly invented Carpet Therapy!

If you are my FB friend, there is really nothing new to read here but am feeling guilty that I haven't updated this blog in a month. What my FB friends don't know is that I have blog followers from Russia, France, Germany, Canada, Australia (family), Spain, UK, Ukraine, Romania and Bermuda. I have no idea how most of these folks found me....but hello out there!! I imagine that they are all touched by autism in some fashion and hopefully find hope when reading about Molly and our family?

Since my last post I have not been feeling the creative juices flowing. Hubby has battled shingles in his eye and his gout flare migrated from one ankle to the other which limited any Christmas skiing in the mountains. He has been around the house A LOT and that is really weird :) He's usually the guy that grabs Molly to go for a hike or Jack to hit the slopes. Not this month. Then Jack woke up a few days ago unable to move his neck or head, had a fever and debilitating headache so we headed to the ER. One spinal tap and CT scan later and he was cleared of meningitis (which was the fear). Just an ugly virus that has sidelined him from the lacrosse tournament this weekend as well as snowboarding in all the awesome new snow that has pounded Colorado's mountains. He is on the mend too so hopefully this family is back to 100% health soon.

Couple cute Molly stories from this month. We were up in the mountains over the holidays and Molly  had pulled out the game Uno and was playing by herself for over an hour. When I peeked in on her to check on her I said "Are you winning or losing?"(not really expecting an answer). She looked right at me and in all seriousness said (with her mouth) "Losing". That cracked me up. I always sensed that she was a grass is greener type...but maybe not?

Brooke and I are practical Christmas present givers to each other and that usually entails something that we need for the house. The carpet in our TV room has changed from a nice clean cream/white-ish color to a forever brown. We were waiting for Tucker to go before we replaced it as he was the main culprit of it's new hue. And maybe not enough carpet washing too? So we went shopping to see if we could agree on a new one. We took Molly. This is what she did the entire time we were in this carpet store.

See her feet?

She stood still as a statue between the carpets for over 10 minutes and miraculously didn't scare other shoppers as they flipped through the options :)

This is how she watches videos on her iPad since getting the new blanket for Christmas. Cozy.

We are heading out again shortly to check out a few more stores. I'll snap more pics if she does this again.

Happy New Year to all!!

Tuck-a-luck

How long does it take to stop listening for the clicking of his nails on the floor? When will I just stand up after being curled up on the sofa and NOT look for Tucker to avoid stepping on him as he was always curled up under me? When will I forget the softness of his ears that Jack loved to stroke? I loved the scruff of his big wide neck and will miss burying my face into it.

As I shared in my last blog post, Brooke is all about adventure and I am all about relaxing and connecting with friends. Neither of us is a decisive decision maker. We both saw the clear demise of Tucker but neither could say "We need to put him down". We held out hope that this wasn't the end even though he was 15 1/2 years old. "But maybe he really isn't that old since he's a rescue and you never know for sure if the people who turned him in knew his real age? They told us his birthday was July 4th....what are the odds of that REALLY being his birthday? Maybe he's only 13 or 14 years old?" Hello denial.

I had taken him to the vet two weeks earlier and she had shared that after 5 months on Remidil, his tummy could be nauseous from the meds which was causing him to not want to eat and we could wean him off that medicine before trying another pain killer. He could barely walk without that med so I didn't want him to be in pain for his remaining days so we tried Pepcid AC to help his tummy. It was then they I couldn't even get his meds down as he was refusing ALL food. This past weekend (after a week of no meds), he started wanting to try food again!! I was psyched and thought that he had weaned himself off the meds and now we could try another pain med. There was (false) hope! I made an appointment on Monday and took him in. When they weighed him, the flood gates of tears opened and didn't stop all day. At his prime he weighed 89 lbs. On Monday, he was 53 lbs. I knew that it was bad since I could easily pick him up to put him into the back of the car. In his prime, I could barely lift him and really didn't need to since he could jump in and out of the car by himself. Our very kind vet didn't seem to notice my puffy, red eyes or the constant flow of tears. She handed me a box of kleenex. I used a lot of them. They must deal with sad owners like me on a daily basis, right? That has to be one of the hardest parts of their job sharing the news that it is time? I NEEDED her to make the decision as we couldn't do it. This was a gift to Tucker. His quality of life was over. Even going on a short walk didn't appeal to him anymore and walks were what made him his happiest.

Brooke and Jack were with Tucker for his last breath. He was surrounded by love (and sobbing) and went peacefully. While they took Tucker to the vet, I took Molly to her music therapy after saying my last goodbye to Tuck-a-luck. I sobbed for the entire 20 minute drive. Molly kept looking at me knowing something wasn't right. We had tried to explain Tuckers situation but she didn't seem to get it or care or understand? "Putting a dog down" and "death" are such abstract concepts that are almost impossible for a kid with autism to understand. I wanted her to say goodbye to Tuck, which she did with a quick wave, but did she know that she was saying goodbye forever? We have no idea? I even showed her Tucker's empty bed the next morning but she didn't show any signs of getting it. Or maybe she understands even better than WE do? Maybe she knows Tucker is in Heaven and romping with his pals? But if she ever can talk and go to therapy and complain about how she was raised, she won't be able to say that we hid Tucker's death from her! ;)

And to be totally honest, making the decision and following through with that decision was WAY harder than the days that follow. I haven't even cried today :) Watching Tucker not eat, and throw up on the carpet, and go in and out and in and out and stare off into nowhere was really tough. Not having to stress over his health the last few days has brought a sense of peace.

What I DO know is that loving a dog and losing a dog is one of the hardest emotional processes we can go through and I have been through a number of heartaches in my 50 years. They capture our hearts and love us unconditionally. They are there wagging their tails when we get home and are equally excited to see us if we only leave to go outside to bring the paper back in. They are the essence of love and open our hearts. Losing them is so painful as they are a member of the family. I have never had so many lovely notes of compassion via my FB page as I have with Tucker's passing. Dog people understand and we all reach out to each other when we lose a family member. Thank you ALL for reaching out, loving us, and sharing your own doggie stories. I love to hear them. RIP sweet Tucker. Thanks for being a part of our family for 8 1/2 years. We will miss you!

He barked at MANY deer, neighbor cats that taunted him, and wagged as we approached from this front window perch.

Our Last Days With Tucker

Every morning I'm hesitant to look at Tucker in his bed. It's that dreaded feeling of "is he still alive?"

Our 15 year old yellow lab is dying slowly day by day. In hindsight, his refusal to eat 2 weeks ago wasn't really refusal like it is now...it was more picky. I could hide his medicine in hot dogs that more often than not he would eat around the pill and spit it onto the floor while the hot dog slid down to his ever shrinking tummy. Which meant that I would have to try that trick again and usually the pill would go down the second time. Then we had to put peanut butter on the pill once he refused the hot dogs. Last week he wouldn't even eat bacon fat poured on his food!! That is unheard of as this dog NEVER got people food and his only encounter into our world of goodness was the bacon fat from our breakfast bacon which he devoured with abandon. I have given up my "dogs don't get people food" stance and you should see me begging him to try....scrambled eggs (they worked twice), leftover turkey (he devoured it twice and after that turned up his nose), BBQ chicken (good for a couple bites). He also goes to his water bowl 322 times a day and NEVER drinks. I need a job outside of the home so that I don't have to watch this demise minute by minute. He also wants to go outside every 15 minutes!! In and out, in and out....and while outside he stares off at the mountain and I wonder what he is thinking?

We started this grand "dog lover" adventure before we got married. My in-laws yellow lab had puppies and we were the lucky beneficiaries of one of the females. I will never forget the day that we picked which one would be ours. All the puppies were in the outdoor pen. Brooke opened the door to let them spill out into the yard. The first puppy sprinted out at top speed to chase a ball that had been tossed. She was darker than the others and had a pointier nose. Brooke fell in love. "Look at her energy! She is so much faster than all the others" he said with a huge smile on his face. He's a sucker for an athlete. Meanwhile, the last puppy moseyed out, wagged his tail and plopped himself beside me so that I could rub his tummy. Now that is MY kind of dog. This story perfectly describes our marriage in the last 22 years since. Brooke is all action and excitement. Give me a massage, hot bath and warm fire where I can curl up and read and I am in heaven. Maybe we should have paid a little more attention to the signs before? :)

Brooke won. We got Darley the most annoying fetcher ever. She was obsessed with chasing...anything and everything. She would clip the back of your legs with a huge log/tree that she would find and pick up and lug around on every hike. She'd clip you then turn around and stop in front of you and try and toss it to your feet so that you'd have to throw it and she could go fetch it again. Fetching wasn't limited to outside either. We were never safe from the obsessive fetching. Inside she would bring the tiniest piece of lint off of the floor and flick it onto the sofa beside you. She'd back up and intensely look from it to you until you flicked it. She needed daily excercise or we would pay. She was the perfect companion for Brooke's back country skiing, biking on open trails and of course running the hills around our mountain town. She mostly just annoyed me even though I loved her and was so sad when she passed at 14 years old. We couldn't face the inevitable of putting her down and canceled the appointment 3 weeks in a row. She had lived in the carpeted basement for the last year of her life as she couldn't do stairs to go outside to pee and she kept sliding on our upstairs hard wood floors. It wasn't until she didn't want to chase a ball or even mouth a ball that we KNEW it was time. Her quality of life was over. And we cried....a lot!!

And here we are again. We gave ourselves a year after Darley died to get another dog. We enjoyed not having to sweep the endless lab dog hair up on a daily basis. We liked not having to take a dog out for exercise....even Brooke enjoyed the down time as we were in the thick of autism chaos 9 years ago. Our poor first "child" Darley wasn't even making the annual Christmas photo anymore!! This is after taking 1.2 million pictures of her pre kids.

But once a dog lover, always a dog lover. We missed the companionship and Jack was begging for one. We knew that we wanted another lab and wanted a little bit older dog as Molly had developed an extreme fear of dogs in those last few years. It got to the point that she wouldn't get out of the car to go for a hike as she knew we would see other dogs on the trails. We aren't exactly sure what happened to create this fear and can only recall a neighbors puppy jumping all over her and scaring her. Maybe that was it? What we did know is that we weren't going to let that fear drive her or our lives. We live in Colorado where everyone has dogs and we love to hike....so Molly was going to live with another dog whether she liked it or not. But a puppy sounded like too much work. I started the Safe Harbor Lab Rescue application out of Golden, Colorado. I looked at the cute pictures that came across the website. We heard that the rescue had called our former vet to see if we were good owners. They wanted to know that we had 4 foot fence that surrounded our yard. They wanted to know that we wouldn't chain up the dog. They wanted a forever home for this dog as he had already been through enough and they didn't want him to have to move again. We promised that we'd keep him forever. We passed and went to pick up seven year old "Target".

Molly was at a summer camp for special needs kids that all use augmentative communication. We just had Jack home and knew that 5 days of no Molly would be good as we introduced the new dog to our home. He was a big beautiful guy with a wide head and friendly wag of the tail. We were psyched to have a male as they don't give your lawn those burned out pee circles like Darley had done. What we didn't know was that he came with A LOT of issues that we were surprised about. Brooke took him to the park that first day. He took him off the leash and threw the ball. At this point we had switched his name to Tucker (Target felt like target practice). Tucker took off for the ball and then ran right past it and down into the woods. Gone. He wasn't coming when his name(s) were called either. This habit lasted FOR YEARS!! If he got out of our front door, he was gone. Up the neighborhood and then down into our wide open space of Red Rock Canyon. I'd post to our neighborhood FB page that he had escaped (again) and someone would reply that they had him..... eventually.

He had a few behaviors that we didn't know how they started since he came to us at 7 years old. He was scared to use stairs! It took him a few months to finally get up his nerve to go down to our basement. So weird. When he'd hear a siren he would howl. He also marked all over our house. It was HIS house. Damn males. We were quickly second-guessing the desire for a male. He was aggressive with other dogs while he was on lead. Off lead, he was fine. And he was always SO sweet with people. I was too nervous to walk with him so that was left to Brooke and within the year he was great with all dogs. Lastly, we got such a laugh when we'd give him a raw hide or treat to chew on. He would gently take it in his mouth and proceed to bury it in the back yard. Darley had NEVER done that and we thought that only happened in the movies.

Most pictures that we have are of Tucker on a hike with Molly.

These three have hiked MANY miles together through the years.

Jack's lacrosse balls were safe from our non fetching lab.

Always sleeps this way.

When we first got Tucker, Jack loved him right away.

He's SO skinny now as he's deep in thought.

So here we are. We will love on our sweet Tucker until we can't any longer. He has been a gift to our family and has taught Molly how to not be afraid of dogs anymore. I'm glad his other family gave him up as we were the big winners with that decision. xo