"How to Dance in Ohio" and Molly's latest hot date!

As a parent of a daughter with autism, I sat enraptured by the newly released HBO documentary "How to Dance in Ohio". Even I, with all my 18 years of first hand autism expertise, learned things. Like it would SUCK to have autism. The difference with this group of adults in the film was that they are all verbal and can talk about their anxieties and confusions. Unlike non verbal Molly who can't share those inner turmoils. While watching the film, for the first time I kind of felt blessed that she can't talk. That's so selfish isn't it? But gosh when you hear how confusing life is and how much we take for granted.....NOT knowing what her struggles are is a bit of a relief for me.

A wonderfully patient psychologist (or maybe psychiatrist? I can't recall) has a weekly social group for both young men and women on the autism spectrum in Columbus, Ohio. There is a fabulous scene that depicts their social anxieties in a funny way. He asks the group how they are feeling right then. No one wants to answer when he says "Who wants to go first?". One girl finally meekly raises her hand and says "I will go last" (gosh that's how I always felt in school). So the psychologist goes around the room and says "Who wants to go 2nd to last. 3rd to last".....until finally the 7th to last person was the first person to have to answer. Made me laugh.

I also loved a scene when one of the girls arrives late to this gathering and the assistant quickly pulls her into the hall and fills her in on what is going on in the classroom, that it's okay that she is late, and gives her the expectations of what is happening. I LOVED seeing that that assistant totally understands that group of kids and nipped all possible anxieties right up front.

For 3 months they work towards going to a dance. They practice social skills and dancing. They talk about their fears. They go shopping for a pretty outfit and get their hair done. They have to experience this real life event to learn and grow. And fall and get back up and try again. That is life.

Basically the whole movie you are cringing, smiling, feeling deeply touched and cringing some more by the challenges that these young people face on a minute by minute basis. Can you imagine not knowing how to read facial expressions or even show them on your own face? That you have to practice raising your eyebrows in the mirror to show that you are interested in what someone is saying to you?

They interview the parents and I just loved all of them in their quest to support yet let go of their kids who want independence. The moms felt like my soul sistas and I was touched by their grace and patience and love for their kids. I can't wait to watch the film tonight with Molly to see how she reacts. I'll let you know how it goes.

If you are in Colorado, or want to fly out, I highly recommend the Rocky Mountain Women's Film Festival that is November 13th-15th where this film (and many others) will be showcased. It's one of my favorite weekends of the year!  rmwfilminstitute.org

Having just come off Molly's own dance, the movie was very relevant. Here are a few cute pictures from her ARC Halloween dance this past Friday with Spencer. When I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween this year she said "Pink skirt" on her talker. I had NO idea what she meant and then it dawned on me that we bought a poodle skirt when she was in middle school that was still in the dress up box. Was that what she was talking about? So I googled an image and showed it to her. She nodded vigorously. That was easy as the scarf was still miraculously in that box too!! She doesn't own any saddle shoes to truly complete the look but happily put on her new black boots that she wants to wear everywhere anyway. Then she posed so pristinely with her hands clasped which is also new!

With Dad and photo bombing Tucker

Quick photos when we picked up Luke Skwalker

Waiting in line for pizza. She left those ponytails in all night long!! That's a FIRST!

I had to put their arms this way and they barely moved and stayed that way until the last note of the song.


The ARC knows how to throw a fun Halloween party for adults and kids of all ages with special needs. City auditorium was packed with so many fabulous costumes and smiles all around. Students from Colorado College had a dance competition, lead some of the line dances, motivated folks to get out and boogie and were all around fabulous with our group. LOVE that community interaction and support.